I’m Doing My Best

“To be honest, when I’m staying at my dad’s, it doesn’t feel like I’m with my family,” he says looking down at the sidewalk.

“It doesn’t feel like family? How so?”

“I don’t know,” he takes in a quick breath and exhales. “I feel like I can only eat what he gives me. Like, I don’t have a choice in what I want to eat. I’m scared to ask him to make me anything so I feel like I’m always hungry.”

“That’s not okay, Kayne,” I tell him. “He’s your dad. If you tell him what you just told me, I’m sure he would be willing to make you something you can eat.”

“See, mom, this is why I couldn’t tell you anything at first,” his tone changes and he sounds frustrated but tries to hold it in.”

“What do you mean?”

“You always take my dad’s side. I want you to take MY side,” he says firmly.

“I’m always on your side, son. I just know that your dad really does try his best and so I want to give him a chance,” I explain myself.

“Well it’s not like that for me. When I’m with you, grandpa, and grandma, I feel like I’m with my family. I feel at home. It’s not like that at my dad’s. It’s different.  I feel so lonely at my dad’s and all I want to do is come back home.”

“I had no idea you felt this way,” my heart sinks. I want to hug him and assure him I will never make him feel that way but I don’t want to break the moment. It’s hard enough getting him to open up to me. “If you want, I can talk to your dad about it. Tell him what you told me so he knows.”

 

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